Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
