Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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