last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
