glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
