About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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