You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
