You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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