there was a trapeze. enough said
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
