I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
