Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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