I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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