Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I smell like Dick and happiness
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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