I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
