I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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