I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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