We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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