Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
