so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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