it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
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well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
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I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.