No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?