just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
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I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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