We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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