around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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