Banned from zoo.
Again?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
