yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
