Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
