we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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