ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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