Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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