Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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