p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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