Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i out mim tonsoeep
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
