I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize