i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
