We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
