I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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