does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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