Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
