he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
