i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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