Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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