1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
