You're my little dorito
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
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