dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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