I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
