so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
