I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
