well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
