she pinky promised me she was 18
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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