Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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