You're so nebulous sometimes
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
