So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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