And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.