Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that