whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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