really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
