3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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