i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
