i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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