We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
