He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
