It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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