Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
